Tuesday saw the most exhilarating game of Champions League football, possibly ever to be played, with PSG facing off against Bayern Munich at Parc des Princes. An absolute bloodbath ensued, resulting in a 5-4 win for PSG, a record-breaking outcome. It was the highest-scoring semifinal since Eintracht Frankfurt beat Rangers 6-3 in the 1959-60 European Cup. Luis Enrique said it was “the best game he ever coached”. Halal ball.
On the other hand, Wednesday saw Atletico Madrid and Arsenal exchange penalties and play with parked buses for 90 minutes at the Riyadh Air Metropolitano. The most dramatic instance of the game was a late penalty for Arsenal being overturned after a VAR check. Since we added a quote in the first paragraph, we will honor this one with the same courtesy. Arteta said he is “extremely upset and annoyed”. Enough said. Haram ball.
Halal ball
Whoever had to broadcast this game and edit the playbacks has our utmost respect, because there were a dozen missed chances while the replays were being put on. You simply could not turn your gaze away from the screen to order another beer, let alone go to the bathroom!
This is hard for me to wrap my head around, too so brace with me while I try to explain what happened. So, Harry Kane’s penalty quickly got canceled out by Khvaratskhelia’s punishing right-foot (we’re talking about the first 25 minutes of the game here).
Next came João Neves with a header (33’), only for Michael Olise to equalize again in minute 41 (and what a goal that one was). It’s important to note that we would show highlights if we could afford the rights.
If you thought this was it for the first half, you’re mistaken. Alphonso Davis’ handball got punished with a penalty shot by the 2025 Ballon d’Or winner, Oussman Dembelé.
Just to keep it light and understandable, – this means the first half saw five goals.
Moving on, Kvaratskhelia made use of a wonderful pass by Marquinhos to open the scoring in the second half. This was his 20th goal involvement in 23 Champions League games since joining PSG from Napoli in 2025, tying him with Kylian Mbappé and Harry Kane for the most in that time frame.
Dembele secured a 3-goal difference in the 58th minute. It only gets more heated from here.
Fun fact: all the PSG goals mentioned so far have been scored in the right side of the goal. Poor Neuer.
Upamecano decided to weigh in with a header to make the score difference a bit more bearable for Bayern (65’). At this point, it was 5-3. His efforts might’ve inspired the German side, considering that what followed was, in our humble opinion, the best goal of the match overall. Harry Kane, standing almost in the defensive line, flicked the ball towards the sky, and in a cartoonesque fashion, with it defying physics, it found Luis Diaz, who punched it in for a final 5-4.
Haram Ball
The two big league kings of Haram ball, Cholo Simeone and Mikel Arteta, met up to produce two penalties. Both were scored by star strikers, who we would love to see scoring goals out of free play. Julian Alvarez and Victor Gyökeres, respectively. 1-1.
But was that all? Goal-wise, yes but there is a serious question regarding defending when it comes to both of these fixtures. When we flip the script and start looking at both of these games from a pragmatic point of view, we can see that in the halal one, 9 goals were conceded, and although one could make the argument (we did) that the haram one was boring, it was way more sturdy.
Obviously, the halal game was played between two high-press, attacking teams, and the haram one was played with brick walls slamming against each other. But at the end of the day, this means that one high press, beautiful to watch, Cruyffian football team will face a risk evert, defending, mind-game operating team in the final.
What do the experts say?
Harry Kane said that, “Even though there were nine goals scored, there was some amazing defending out there.
“You’ve got the best players in the world. The best attackers, the best defenders. Of course, sometimes the attackers are going to come out on top and show their quality.
“When you go back and look at the centre-halves playing in midfield, in attack sometimes, out wide against the wingers, credit to them. It’s a really hard job. I thought they were outstanding.”
Wayne Rooney (I’m sorry, but he is considered an expert so he has to be included), disagreed:
“I love Harry Kane. Everyone can see that on the words I say about him. But, there’s no way he can be praising his defenders.
“Maybe because they are his teammates. He’s trying to give them a bit of confidence for next week. The defending from both teams was really bad.”
Ouch. Let’s see what happens next week and which halal / haram team advances to greet each other in Budapest for the final.